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Christian Humor and Clean Jokes 

THE SENILITY PRAYER 

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. 

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered 

ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. 

TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. 

THREE - I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart. 

FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded... 

FIVE - All reports are in; life is now officially unfair. 

SIX - If all is not lost, where is it? 

SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. 

EIGHT - Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. 

NINE - I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few... 

TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents. 

ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause...kids. 

TWELVE- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. 

THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom. 

FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees. 

FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess? 

SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere. 

SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. 

EIGHTEEN - These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after. 

NINETEEN - I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU BEFORE OR NOT. 


 

 

 

 

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