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Why Men Will Never Win...

  • If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you are a male chauvinist. 
  • If you stay home and do the housework, you are a pansy. 
  • If you work too hard, there is never any time for her. 
  • If you don't work enough, you are a good for nothing bum. 
  • If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it is exploitation. 
  • If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your rear and find something better. 
  • If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism. 
  • If she gets job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity. 
  • If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment. 
  • If you keep quiet, it's male indifference. 
  • If you cry, you are a wimp. 
  • If you don't, you are insensitive. 
  • If you make a decision without consulting her, you are a chauvinist. 
  • If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's liberated woman. 
  • If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination. 
  • If she asks you, it's a favor. 
  • If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you are a pervert. 
  • If you don't, you are gay. 
  • If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you are a sexist. 
  • If you don't, you are unromantic. 
  • If you try to keep yourself in shape, you are vain. 
  • If you don't, you are a slob. 
  • If you buy her flowers, you are after something. 
  • If you don't, you are not thoughtful. 
  • If you are proud of your achievements, you are full of yourself. 
  • If you aren't, you are not ambitious. 
  • If she has a headache, she is tired. 
  • If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore. 
  • If you want it too often, you are over-sexed. 
  • If you don't, there must be someone else. 

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