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A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.
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If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
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A 3 year olds voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
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If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
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You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. However, when using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
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The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
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When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
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Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
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A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
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Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old.
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Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
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Super glue is forever.
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No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
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Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
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VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
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Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
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Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
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You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
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Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.
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The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.
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The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy.
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It will however make cats dizzy.
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Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
